Just a Memory
by onlyhope2
Summary: As Jamie's final hours draw near, Landon must fight better memories....


Just a Memory  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters....I just love them. Please don't sue me. I am a poor college student searching for pizza money. Thank you and enjoy. (-Jamie, jamie_n_landon@awalktoremember.zzn.com)  
  
Landon Carter's eyes searched the room anxiously. He ran his hands over his pant legs, first one and then the other, clasping his script tightly in a fist. His feet tapped an impatient rhythm filled with subconscious worry.  
  
"She's never late," he mumbled to himself. "Never."  
  
The other cast members of the spring play were starting to get anxious without the stars as well. Landon pretended to study the thick script book in his hands.  
  
"Places, everyone!" Miss Garber finally yelled.  
  
"What about Jamie?" Landon asked.  
  
"We'll just have to..."  
  
"I'm sorry!" a voice echoed through the auditorium. Landon turned to see a hurried, disheveled Jamie Sullivan rushing down the main aisle to the stage. He breathed out sharply.  
  
"Glad you made it, Jamie," Miss Garber said, being surprisingly laidback. "We're all set for the opening scene."  
  
"Where were you?" Landon asked, making his voice snappy on purpose.  
  
"Relax, Carter - you'll still have plenty of time to cause trouble with your friends," Jamie remarked, setting her backpack down and getting her script.  
  
When she stood up again, Landon noticed her face was a little pale, and little beads of sweat were dripping from her forehead.  
  
"Are you okay?" Landon asked.  
  
"Huh?" Jamie seemed to realize she was sweating. "Oh...yeah. Must've just walked too fast." Jamie quickly ran a hand over her brow to wipe the sweat away. She offered Landon a smile and disappeared backstage.  
  
Landon had a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. She's never late...never....  
  
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"Landon?" a small voice crept into Landon's mind, shattering the memory and bringing him back to life.  
  
"Hey, how are you?" Landon asked, tucking the covers closer around her.  
  
"I'm all right. What were you thinking about?"  
  
"Oh..." The flash of Jamie's simple wedding band as she pulled her arms from beneath the covers stopped Landon's breath. "Nothing, baby. Just a memory."  
  
"Not a bad one, I hope."  
  
"No...just one of you and me." Landon smiled down at her bittersweetly.  
  
"Remembering better times, huh?" Jamie asked.  
  
It always amazed Landon that she could be sympathetic and supportive while enduring so much pain. Tears sprang behind Landon's eyes but he blinked them away. He hated crying in front of her.  
  
Neither of them knew how much time she had left. Landon found himself praying every day for her to survive the day in less pain than the day before. He never knew how badly she felt unless she was in a lot of pain. Jamie was a master of disguise.  
  
Landon wished for once that she would let him take care of her as he yearned to...before it was too late...  
  
"Do you feel like sitting out on the balcony for a while?" Landon asked. "It's nice and warm."  
  
"That sounds nice."  
  
Landon pushed off the covers and held out his hands. As usual, she ignored them and climbed out of bed unsupported. Landon slipped an arm around her thin, bony waist and helped her make the journey to their balcony.  
  
By the time Jamie was seated again, she was out of breath and exhausted, yet she smiled as she breathed in the fresh summer air.  
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
"No," Jamie said softly.  
  
"I need to run and do a few things...your father's downstairs, okay?"  
  
"All right." Landon turned to leave but her soft voice called back to him. "I love you. Remember that."  
  
Landon looked back at his wife, sitting there facing the sun, looking fragile, worn and alone. This isn't the Jamie I know. This isn't my Jamie. "Baby, don't talk like that," Landon whispered, kneeling by her side and brushing a few strands of hair away from her cold face. "I'll see you when I get back. I love you."  
  
Yet something in Jamie's eyes left him feeling icy inside as he walked across their bedroom, down the stairs and into his car.  
  
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"I'm scared of not being with you...."  
  
The words rang through Landon's cluttered mind as he gripped the steering wheel tighter and resisted the urge to floor the pedal. Reverend Sullivan had paged him, telling him to come home right away. There wasn't much time.  
  
Yet Landon's only thought was how he had watched the tears pool in Jamie's beautiful eyes as she spoke those seven words to him, and his hushed reaction: "Oh, baby, that'll never happen."  
  
Now, here he was....alone in his car when he should have been by her side like he had promised.  
  
The night air was quickly growing chilly, uncharacteristic of how beautiful a late August evening it should have been, as Landon jumped out of his car and ran inside. Taking the stairs two at a time, he stopped in the hallway when he heard Jamie's father and her doctor talking in hushed tones.  
  
"There's nothing else I can do...."  
  
Landon stepped inside, appearing stronger than he felt inside. His heart was beating quickly as he reached Jamie's side. Her face was streaked with sweat....or were they tears? She was huddled on her side, almost clutching herself in an effort to hide the pain away from everyone. Her eyes were closed, and even her lips had gone purple.  
  
Landon swallowed and reached out, brushing her face with his hand. She sighed but was too weak to open her eyes....but she knew he was there. She always knew.  
  
Landon didn't need answers to questions he could have asked Jamie's doctor. Everything had already been said the last time Jamie had spoken to him....  
  
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"Jamie!" Landon was screaming at the top of his lungs. He was racing faster and faster, but it seemed like he wasn't gaining any ground. He could see Jamie's shadow and the shadow of an unknown person right in front of him, almost within arm's reach, but he was still too far behind. Landon tried to run faster, but the more he tried, the slower he seemed to go. Jamie kept trying to look back at him, but the other person forced her to look ahead. Landon could almost see the fear in Jamie's eyes reflected in the moonlight....  
  
Landon sat up with a start. His shirt was soaked, and he was shaking, but he climbed to his feet in the early morning light. Somehow he'd fallen asleep on the couch downstairs as he and Reverend Sullivan had waited out Jamie's last hours. As he climbed the stairs, the memory of Jamie's arms clasped tightly around him was the only thing he could think about.  
  
When he reached the doorway to their room, the bed was empty. Reverend Sullivan was gone. Landon felt a sick feeling take over his heart as he slowly sat down on the neatly made bedspread...their bedspread. He threw his feet over the side and pressed his face into Jamie's pillow, inhaling her sweet scent.  
  
Outside leaves were drifting to the ground, even though it was only August..... 


End file.
